Welcome To The American Dream
by Ray Gernhart
Just a quick thank you note from the patio of my new, beachfront condo. What a view! I’ve never been happier. Seriously, I wouldn’t be here without YOU. Thanks to your timely rent payments, I’ve paid my mortgage in full on the townhouse you’ve been renting from me. That townhouse has turned into a real cash cow. Truthfully, I wasn’t sure what to do with all that excess rental income, but then Bam! It hit me! You were paying my mortgage before, so why not pay my mortgage again, on a new property?! Thanks to you, my real estate portfolio is getting really impressive! Watch out Trump!
I want to do something for you as a token of my gratitude. I know the lease says that your rent will increase 4% every year, but I’m only going to raise it 3% this year. I want you to take that savings and treat yourself to a nice dinner—on me!
With deepest gratitude,
PS: I’ve considered your request to adopt a dog, and I worry about fleas and smells. We’ve got a good thing going, so, lets not add another “roommate”.